Its fun to sit down with friends and push words around the page. I have posted the process and conclusion for your amusement.

Write 2 multiple choice question on a hypothetical personality test:

If you could be any kitchen appliance, which would you choose:

 a) Mixer
 b) Blender
 c) Fire supression system
 d) Egg slicer

What weapon would you choose for a duel:

 a) Sword
 b) Revolver
 c) Rotweiller
 d) Pillow

Part two: Answer questions from everyone else, record answers and questions.

• Lost keys in: Parallel universe
• See the moon: Bar's last call
• Side dish: Green tea goat weed stuffed pineapple
• Prison escape tool: Spider monkey named Fred
• Appliance: Egg slicer
• Duel weapon: Rotweiller
• Intimate relationship: Dance floor
• Define yourself: Caffinated drugstore owner
• Fire pit held together by: Flames
• Alter mind: Only when I alter the rest of me
• Prefer touch: Heart
• Prefer to give up: (Imaginary) Dog
• Human evolution: Psychotropic substances
• Objects in order: Light bulbs, hammers, soda cans, potatoes
• Best turn of phrase: Plastic makes things possible

Part three, tie it all together:

 My friend, who I call the caffinated drugstore owner, 
 was quoting Terrence McKenna on the evolution of mankind
 while we shared psychotropic substances

 I only alter my mind when I altering the rest of me,
 I thought, as I made out with my egg slicer
 and had an intimate relationship with the dance floor

 My keys were lost somewhere in a parallel universe,
 My fire pit held together only by flames,
 because plastic makes things possible.

 It was last call at the bar and I stared out at the moon
 dreaming of light bulbs, hammers, soda cans, and potatoes
 with a side of green tea goat weed stuffed pineapple.

 Forced to choose, I gave up my imaginary dog,
 Not knowing I'd be challenged to a duel with a rotweiller,
 landing me in prison with my Spider Monkey named Fred.

 He touches my heart, while we dream of escape.

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