I can act like a real moron sometimes.

This morning I got up early to go to work, expecting to ignore the walkway, brush off my car and head in. Maybe I would catch breakfast along the way, or just snack on some of the food in my office. I walked out the door, sans gloves and hat, and realized that the snow was just a little higher than the forecasts yesterday.

So without taking off my (heavy) backpack, I grabbed the shovel and tossed snow off my walkway, sidewalk, and driveway for about five minutes. Then, being a friendly guy, I shoveled the sidewalk and walkway of Mrs. Boegner next door. Then, having been out in the fifteen degree weather for ten minutes, grabbed the broom and cleared off my roof and windows.

As I jumped into the driver's seat, I knew something was wrong. I couldn't really feel my hands, my toes were a little numb and it was hard to breathe. But I turned the key (more by rote motion than actually being able to feel which key was in my frozen fingertips) and pulled out of the driveway. A few blocks down things started to get dark. I realized I was about to pass out and pulled over to the side of the road with my blinkers on.

A few minutes with my head on the wheel and I realized that I could either 1) go home, 2) warm my car really slowly by standing still or 3) get warm considerably faster by getting on the highway. So as a black border began to creep around the outside of my field of vision, I slid my way down Taylor Avenue, up Perring Parkway and on to I-695.

I noticed my engine temperature gauge at warm before I could feel any heat coming out of the vents, but I know from experience that by that time the air was HOT. The feeling escaped me for a few more minutes until the nerves started to thaw out. My hands began to have some concept of the treatment they had just been given in the sub-freezing temperatures. And that's when the pain started.

I can only illustrate the severity of this pain by the fact that I was screaming non-stop all the way from Dulaney Valley Road to Padonia Road at 30 mph. It wasn't just limited to my hands, either, but decided to streak up my wrists and bounce off the tension headache that I had just acquired from the recent sudden temperature changes. My only thought during this whole process was:

I'm either going to die, or I'm going to live and wish I were dead.

Luckily neither happened, and about 5 minutes from the office it was obvious that I would survive having learned an important lesson this morning. And then I arrive to find that everyone else from my team decided to work from home today. Thanks, guys!

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