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Beltway Sniper

Jacob Wolfsheimer is maintaining a site of news and opinions about the Beltway Sniper, as is Jason Kenney another DC-area blogger happens to live in the area. Even Montgomery County Police Chief Charles Moose has his own fan site now out of this whole ordeal.

Update January 27, 2003: Charles Moose may be considering a book deal about his work on the sniper case.

Update January 3, 2003: Based on 100,000 tips from neighbors about neighbors, the Montgomery County Police Department will begin an intensive crackdown on unregistered firearms along with Maryland State Police, the Secret Service and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.

Update December 27, 2002: Jose Morales, the man caught using a payphone and driving in a white van was deported back to his home of Estanzuela, Guatemala.

Update October 29, 2002: ABCNews reports that charges have been filed against John Allen Muhammad. (ABCNews link expired and was removed)

Update October 24, 2002: Looks like they caught the moron.

October 21, 2002: There are a lot of rumors and guesses being posted about why this guy is doing what he is. Every blogger seems to have a crackpot theory. Well, here's mine!

This morning I realized Home Depot is obviously tied to the ancient Aramaic incantation a'h0m3 d3'p0T which roughly translates from that ancient language into (depending on tonal pronounciation) "stan, the metro beltway sniper" or "twenty first century boqqer has too much time on their hands and sees Stan everywhere." Later researchers have concluded that "stan" could actually be "Prince of Darkness" or "sAt'An" as he's known in more familiar circles, and "boqqer" is actually "blogger", which roughly translates into "agent of Stan."

The pattern left by the sniper roughly resembles what researchers have called "the random scribble of a small child" which includes many "triangles" and "acute" and "obtuse" "angles", all known to be symbols of a darker power known esoterically as mathematicks (note that the k at the end denotes the evil nature of this black art where "numbers" become "other numbers" through "mathematickal operations" known only to a closed circle of "mathmetickians" and "elementary skool students").

Either that or this guy could just be a crazy psychotic, ie. someone who does things with no practical logic or social restrictions behind them, like (for instance) random murders.

Unfortunately, if the sniper stays at large, Bob Ehrlich may win the election.
I've been told that any Democrat Governor who wants to win the state of Maryland has to win the majority of Montgomery County, Prince George's County and Baltimore City. If the pansies in Montgomery County are too scared to go out on Election Day, farm country Maryland will sweep the Republican ticket into state-wide office.
Bob Ehrlich won anyway.

Some in the weblogging community might end this article with some sort of political conspiracy theory. Not me. I'll just casually mention that a well-armed citizenry might be more confident to leave their houses in two weeks.

Register, force waiting periods, ballistically fingerprint, safety lock away your guns, citizens of Maryland! The criminal psychos will still be out shooting at the unarmed sheeple and the cops can't do a thing. Baa. Of course, scared suburbanites don't need that much more of an excuse to lock themselves inside to drink a beer and watch the latest repeat of Seinfeld for the thousandth time . . . Even on Election Day.


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